I decided to write this after kept the thought for a long time. It doesn’t matter who’s going to read or if you are reading now. I know the best is just to let go. Laugh, if you think I am an emo or whatsoever. I couldn’t care much. You know, there’s an ego in me like any other man. But, i am also a man that born with a heart. Letting go… just another way of saying let life goes on. I should ‘live’ my life.
In a very brief encounter of a thing that we called ‘love’, was such a mysterious experience. It robs my mind and senses. It made me an addict and blind. It made me to believe, to follow a dream and to follow a special pattern of way to my fantasy. Day by day is a marathon of hope.
But I realized that it never an easy journey for me to love and to let go. Falling in love or losing love is equally causing a rollercoaster in life. It happened because i care. Love made my heart alive and to bleed too. It doesn’t care if I’m afloat or how fast i fall. There’s a time, no matter what I do, I never fill in the gap in my heart. I couldn’t see tomorrow and I couldn’t smile. It’s hard for me to see things ‘like before’.
Broken heart is hard to mend. Time doesn’t really cure but time let me learn along the way. I took time to mend the surface but deep inside it never takes too long for me to be on my knees. Yes, simply that fragile. I can only hold my head and cry hard covered in my hand. Can you cry when you never in love?
Love is always a mixture of pain and pleasure. Sometimes, fly high in the sky, sometimes I am on the ground. Love can cause me to enjoy the same routine everyday and even for many years. In the very limitation of love, i try to love to my very best. As much as you can plan, that much you can crash. I created memories but they drive me crazy at the same time.
There is at times love not returned, not reciprocated and I’m left in pain and an empty heart listening to song over and over again. I’m that fool. I say I will never love again. I’m sitting here now…waiting for sunrise.
“It’s being so dark since you being gone. After all you are the one who turn me off.”
I always curious what do you call love?