Dear …. if you ever reading this…

It has been more than 5 months, since that one crashing Sunday of July 2012. I can’t forget about you. Standing alone, hiding behind that shadow of sorrow, the sad longing builds up. I’m deleted and erased from your world. You have left me unforgettable memories and scars. What do i do? Do i find pleasure to be in addiction of that unmendable sadness and torturous feelings? I keep on running, i keep on dripping tears, i keep on drinking and it seems i can’t never go far from you. I can’t stop missing you. Life shouldn’t be that miserable. Life is about happiness…but what, where, how … 

I always think if we can turn our time back. If we can start all over again. If i can do better than i then was. If i can put everything right. If i can put aside my guilt. If i can see only you. If i can reach you right now. If we can feel us again… If …

I learn about love because of you. I learn to care because of you. I learn to be strong because of you. I learn to be clean because of you. I am now felt almost crazy because of you. That’s why…that’s why i really hate you… I miss you so much…

Because i can’t erase you, I will smile again. I will try to live each day well.

” And if my life is for rent and i don’t learn to buy, well i deserve nothing more than i get, ’cause nothing i have is truly mine…”




One thought on “Obssession

  1. Hey… First *hugs*

    Now..u knw we sailing in the same boat..i went thru or wait lemme correct tat, still going thru the same pain altho its been a year!! Its not been easy for me to let go but hv to do it cuz wats the poiny whn the other party is busy spending day wth laughter n joy n me/we in tears? Does tat mk us feel bwtter? NO!
    Why must we gv a chance for past to control us?
    Lemme share wth ya wth ive learned. Biggest mistake we did is to love so much the other party (wch now i feel DONT DESERVE) it..rship is whr u fight for the person n not let go whn the person only think abt thm (selfishness) thr is no love whn u say “i” /”me”..wat hpn to the moments shared togwther? Thgs said whn together? All was forgotten just like tat.

    So my fren is it worth it to go back to thm? Will the love be same? Will trust be same? Will it ALL be the same?

    Basically NO…n yet we hv tat lil hope in us tat how if one day the other person comes back..

    Ppl say we shd use it as an “experience” to move on in life n meet sumone better..sumone who deserves our love..sumone who accepts us who we are n dun mk us change or fit into their life…

    It takes time..looooonggg one…may be not now not end tis yr but one day u will turn back n ask “seriously life ia better now wthout thm”

    Thr is a reason why u had to go thru tis hardtime..well my dear all i can say we hope for a better life..

    N yes i cant believe myself am.saying all tis but ya 🙂 m not “there” yet but getting thr hehe..m sure u will to..dun b hard on yaself

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